Crazy WIKI Quotes.

Inspired By Sexton's edit of a Crewe player's wiki page...

Surfing the Wiki-net I came across the nWo page, it make's for some crazy reading, brother.
Here are some highlight's...

Quote :

The new World order of wrestling brother, was started sometime in the 20th century by Hulk Hogan and his mexican cleaning maid and gardener; Kevin Nash and Scott Hall (respectively).

Hulk Hogan decided he had done too much good for the world and this would unbalance the cosmos (he was correct). So he created an evil cult whose purpose was to destroy the World. This would lead to the founding of what historians now know as the nWo. Also, thats what it said on the t-shirts.

Quote :

From approximately 1996 to 1993-98; the nWo of wrestling brother ran wild all over the wrestling world. During this time, Hogan popularized his method of knocking out his enemies by hitting them in the back of the head with a spraypaint can; then carving [nWo] on their bare backs with a rusty screwdriver.

This bit is fucking top's though...

Quote :

[edit] Members

The Warriors even joined the n.W.o.As the nWo continued to do everything nWo style for life brother, it attracted a lot of members all of whom were members who joined and became members by joining and they joined becoming members and their membership included them being members and their joining, too. [1]

The most notable of them being:

[edit] New World Order (nWo)
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan
Kevin Nash
Scott Hall
"Macho Man" Randy Savage
This Rope
Shang Tsung
Mussolini
Dave Chappelle
Vince McMahon
the Warriors
Joey "OH MY GOD!" Styles
You and Me

nWo News 24 breaking the news that Gordon Brown has joined the nWo. Pictured is Gordon Brown himself with John Cena's Momma.

[edit] nWo Wolfpac
Kevin Nash
Rocky Balboa
Sting
Lex Luger
The ghost of Owen Hart

[edit] References
↑ Also, anyone who reads this agrees to a binding contract and officially becomes a member of the nWo as well.

LINK: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/NWo

Add any you find, this is a rare treat ( ) from the trustworthy, alway's accurate Wikipedia ( )

Na it aint real, good though. Might have to edit me some wiki's

some quotes about randy orton from http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Randy_Orton

Quote :

Randall Kenneth Orton or Randall Kenneth "One Man Dynasty Chinese Takeaway" Orton is a homosexual and professional WWE Superstar. He was born to Rootin' Tootin' Poopin' Rodeo Clown Bob Orton and Dina Lohan in a virgin birth.

As a wrestler, Randy Orton is known as "The Legend Killer." He claims to have killed the careers of numerous wrestlers and mythical figures. But in real life, he has only injured many careers and ended some while improving own career.

Quote :

Orton grew up constantly competing for his parent's affection with his much less talented little half sister, Lindsay.

He would pull pranks of the "ruining her childhood" variety, such as killing off the legend of Halloween by RKO'ing the Great Pumpkin, or when he deliberately killed the legend of Santa Claus by RKO'ing him down the chimney, and then promptly eating the milk and cookies (which he later defecated in to her stocking.) The next year, to impress his friends and to annoy her again, he killed the legend of the Easter Bunny overnight, when he surprised him by staying up late and RKO'ing him through a wall and then giving him the deadly "Career Ending Kick to the Head of Doom". In high school, he even showed up to RKO her ham sandwich, which he later pooped into her handbag between classes and claimed it to be lotion.

Quote :

After his humiliation, Randy Orton would go about, trying to prove to every one on RAW that He was the one, true God! This became known by outsiders as "Orton Theory." Randy Orton decided that he would kill all religious legends that opposed Orton Theory. Along his road of killing legends and fulfilling his father's wishes, Orton had decided that he liked killing legends and thus, would pursue it as a lifelong career.

After shitting in handbags, suitcases, garbage cans, etc. Orton was shipped back to Raw, he is still there sucking in the ring & shitting in peoples stuff.

Quote :

Randy Orton is said to be the best behaved superstar in the company, and has received a Nobel Prize for his work of getting back at the evil women of the WWE.

Randy Orton, in late 2005, was wrongly accused of streaking through downtown St. Louis. However, WWE released him on good behavior, and fired the real streaker, Paul Heyman. Orton has never been the same since becoming the jailhouse "Alpha Dog".

Randy Orton is often cited by WWE for his good work at shitting in everything but the toilet. Said one spokesman "He stopped shitting himself so we're good." Randy Orton will soon be marketing his own line of Adult Diapers.

Randy Orton is well known backstage for his willingness to help others, he recently gave WWE superstar Carlito a haircut. For good measure Randy offered to give Carlito a makeover. After all as Randy often says "The world should be a metro douche like me".

Just typed in WWE and this came up:

Quote :

In the beginning...
...there was nothing. Then God created Vince McMahon. Then the WWE, was created and a set of rules were to be applied at every show :

1. Thou shalt not kill anywhere other than the arenas of the WWF, the WCW, ECW or TNA. Unless the opposing party calls you out. Or looks funny.#
   
2. Always, always, always make yourself look better than your entire roster.
   
3. Bitch slap thy daughter and son with a two-by-four whenever possible. As a matter of fact, bitch slap anyone with a two-by-four whenever possible.
   
4. Thou shall win titles that thou deserve even if it be the championship of the very company you bought out.
   
5. Thou shall buy out your competition and destroy the wrestling industry with stupid and childish story lines.
   
6. Thou not steal, unless you are in a feud with the recipient of thy wrath.
   
7. Thou shall not defeat my son-in-law Triple H unless you're John Cena...or me.
   
8. Thou shall put over my son'!
   
9. Thou shall be worthless and practice everything by script.
   
10. Thou shall take steroids 24/7 and turn up to the ring in skimpy, pathetic tights
    
11. Thou shall not mention the use of steroids to anyone.
    
12. Thou shall not reveal the true facts about kitten huffing to anyone except Mr. Vince McMahon or Myself, God
    
13. Thou shall always speak the truth as I or Vinny Mac, here, says it.
    
14. Thou shall not blow my limo up.
    
15. Kiss it when I say to kiss it.
    
16. Complain when I screw you out of the wwe title and never get over it.
    
17. Get angry at people who in your face because you don't want to cool.
    
18. Make sure to be there to make things worse when the chairmans upset.
    
19. Thou shall be severely under-used.
    
20. Thou shall feature in squash with the likes of Batista and Triple H for the first year.
    
21. Thou shall be relegated to Heat or ECW if you do not match up to the Mighty Triple H's standards.
    
22. Thou shall feature in the Money in the Bank match in order to get your career rolling.
    
23. Thou shalt job for other wrestlers until thou becomes more popular, and lose a lot, until thou becomes more popular, wins a money in the bank match, kisses the chairman's ass, marries Vince's daughter after knocking her up, whichever comes first.
    
24. Thou shalt not use a steel chair, unless the ref is knocked out or not looking, or if the rules of the match allow it.
    
25. Thou shalt not become general manager of any brand unless thou kisses Vince's ass at least once like William Regal did.
    
26. Thou shalt smell what the Rock is cooking, or thou shalt drink beer with Stone Cold, or thou shalt have a good day with Mick Folley, or else thou shalt come up with thy own catch phrase.
    

Through these true commandments, we see that God, and his step-son Vince McMahon, aren't some nancys who need to know how to count. Real men (and Gods) wrestle.

those are all pretty funny

Just typed in TNA and this came up:

Quote :

“TNA? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?!?”
~ Don West on TNA

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
~ Abyss on TNA

“We...are...snooker”
~ Jeff Jarrett on TNA

“The company's called TNA!”
~ Mike Tenay (aka Captain Obvious) on TNA

“You mean you'll let me get high on Meth, AND wrestle 1/8th my ablity, and still pay me? Sweet!”
~ Jeff Hardy on TNA

“This looks a lot like WWE”
~ Captain Obvious on TNA

“TNA sounds strangely similar to T&A. ”
~ Captain Obvious on TNA

“Why is TNA full of has beens? ”
~ Willy Wonka on TNA

“TNA SUCKS!?!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?!?”
~ Don West on Total Nonstop Action Snooker

“Their booking sucks.”
~ Oscar Wilde on TNA

There is more here http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/TNA

More Don West piss takes:

Quote :

Mike Tenay's true identity
In the year of 2007 there was several rumors about "Iron" Mike Tenay's true identity, and several wrestling news sites reported that Mike Tenay was the one and only Captain Obvious. It's also revealed that he is Wreck-Gar from Transformers Animated. Several quotes from the TNA lead commentator indeed prove his identity:

Karen Angle Get Your fucking hands off me!
Mike Tenay And you can see that she's not happy! (Actual Quote!)
Karen Angle: Kurt...I want a divorce!
Mike Tenay: She says she wants a divorce!

Rhino: James Storm...I'm going to kick your ass!
Mike Tenay: He says he wants to kick his ass!

Mrs Tenay: Mike, I need to go to the restroom.
Mike Tenay: She wants to go to the restroom!!

Optimus Prime: Megatron, at the end of this day, one shall stand, and one shall fall.
Mike Tenay: He just told Megatron that at the end of this day, one shall stand and one shall fall!!

Megatron: Decepticons, RETREAT!
Mike Tenay: The Decepticons are retreating!

Ratchet: You're not an Autobot and never will be. You're only good for one thing, GARBAGE!
Mike Tenay:I am Wreck-Gar I am good for only one thing, GARBAGE! I must deliver garbage for all!

Don West: Mike stop acting gay.
Mike Tenay: I'm gay!!?!?
Don West: You are!?
Mike Tenay: I am!?!?
Don West: ...
Mike Tenay: ...
Don West: YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??
Mike Tenay: I'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING HIM!?!?!?!??
Don West I think you are kidding me, Mike.
Mike Tenay I wish I was kidding you, but I'm not (sobs)
Don West Chin up, Mike lol.
Mike Tenay Don't you "lol" me biatch.
Don West DID YOU JUST SEE THAT SCORPIAN DROP BY STING ON RIKISHI (Rikishi is that homo who wants someone to do him up the ass, but nobody would because the gay wrestlers don't like the fattie incase you didn't know)

Speculation is that Don West has a fetish for watching wrestling moves. It's pretty obvious that he gets this sexual stimulation from watching this. This disorder is called the "I have a fetish for watching wrestling disorder" Like who didn't know this already?
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=aHAArKAlPB8

The Hardy Boys


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The fact that the lighthouse was pointing towards the land led Frank and Joe to discover that Old Man MacCready was jacking off again.



For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about The Hardy Boys.



The Hardy Boys is a popular series of detective/adventure books for boys chronicling the fictional adventures of trans-sexual teenage "brothers" Frank and Joe Hardy by Richard M. Nixon. Along with Nancy Drew and the Penthouse Letters, it ranks among the greatest American literature ever produced.

Contents [hide] 1 Origin of the Name 2 The original series (1927–1979) 3 The Movie 4 Becoming Wrestlers

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[edit] Origin of the Name


The exact origin of the name "Hardy Boys" is shrouded in mystery. The most popular theory is that Elvis Presley's brother Aron Presley had a roommate who got so inspired after watching a movie called Jude, (which had Kate Winslet doing oomphy things) and started a club called The Thomas Hardy Boys,(named after the writer of the novel Jude ), which Franklin W Dixon heard and named his crime-fighting brothers as the Hardy Boys.
Other suggestions as to the origin of the name hinge around the fact that the brothers were already in their mid 20s when the series started, and that the name might have been a misspelling of Hardly Boys.
Still another theory traces the Hardy Boys to 19th century Yiddish literature. A popular episodic play called The Hardy Goys featured crime fighting gentiles who would help Jews solve crimes on shabbos, when the Jews couldn't travel. Some notable episodes were The Mystery of the Missing Gefilte Fish, and The Mystery of the Radioactive Peyos
An unpublished manuscript called The Hardy Boys has been cataloged in the Oscar Wilde library, but the literary invention we know as the Hardy Boys has little to do with Wilde's characters. Except for the buggery.
[edit] The original series (1927–1979)


The first 58 stories and the 38 revisions, along with the Detective Handbook and its revision, are considered by many collectors to form the Hardy Boys canon.
Most stories center around the Hardy Boys trying to murder Uncyclopedia Brown only to be foiled each time by Bugs Meany editing the clues out from under them. After failing, they masturbate each other, post the video to YouTube and call it a day.

1. The Hardy Boys and the Mysterious Stranger 2. The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Deep 3. The Hardy Boys and the Mysterious Cities of Gold 4. The Hardy Boys and the Missing Chums 5. The Hardy Boys Hunt for Hidden Treasure 6. The Hardy Boys and the Mysteries of Pittsburgh 7. The Hardy Boys and the Secret of the Turkish Bath 8. The Hardy Boys Get Lost In Bed-Stuy 9. The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of Mystery Island

10. The Hardy Boys and Miss Terry 11. The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Urinal Deuce 12. The Hardy Boys and What Happened at Midnight 13. The Hardy Boys Murder Uncyclopedia Brown 14. The Hardy Boys Get Hard 15. The Hardy Boys Blow Pretzel Pete For Clues 16. The Hardy Boys Go Around the World With Nancy Drew 17 The Hardy Boys Grow up 18 The Hardy Men and the Crazy Censor 19 The Hardy Boys win the Tag-Team Championship belts... then lose them ten seconds later... then using "clues" find them... then lose them in a match

[edit] The Movie


In 2001 the Hardy Boys Movie was released by The Walt Disney Company. Starring Lance Bass and Aaron Carter as the two brothers, and featuring Charro as the aunt, it opened to rave reviews.
In typical Disney fashion, they altered the story a bit, making the Hardy Boys the child of a single mom, played by Rosie O'Donnell, and moving them to Newark, New Jersey. The plot centered around the Hardy Boys trying to stop a crack den from operating next door. When reasoning with the crackheads, as their Mom always taught them to do, didn't work, they enlisted the help of their brainiac friend to build an atomic bomb and blow them--and most of Newark--away, thus providing the happy Disney ending.
[edit] Becoming Wrestlers



The Modern Day Hardy Boys (Jefferson left and Matthew right) solve the mystery of the missing gold. They won the gold in a tag team championship TLC (The Leaking Cock) wrestling match



Matthew and Jefferson Hardy solve mysteries by challenging the villains to TLC (The LOOBED Cock) wresting matches. Inspired by the Novels, they are the new Hardy Boys. They solved cases like the fake fur coats that MNM (Mercury Nitro and Melina) tried to pawn off to the public. They found the missing gold in the tag team championship matches. They solve the mysteries of the missing straight ladders during matches all the time, then jump off of them in a fit of joy that always looks cool. Sometimes they miss there landing spot ... but who cares!
They then gained notoriety as a tag team when they hooked up with Lita. During this time, Matthew became fat, and slow and was thus fired from the WWE for not being able to wrestle! He had to kiss Vince McMahon's ass to return, which he did with a huge smile and relief. When he returned, Lita had left him for a far worse wrestler and pitiful future champion Edge. Thus Matthew became a worse wrestler than he was before and has been crying ever since! Internet wrestling fans like him because they feel sorry for him! That and they rather cheer for a believable rebellious wrestler than a crybaby Canadian that thinks he always has to have it his way.
Jefferson Hardy is the stunt man, he will jump from anywhere he thinks is high, just to get people to cheer for him and make people forget he also can wrestle well.he is a crazy ass mutha fucka and kills hiself regulary.
The Hardyz are currently trying to solve the mystery as to why the hell did Vince McMahon want the ECW World Title, and Why the hell did he fake an explosion and his death?!
Recently Death Hardy aka Jeff was found out to be a hardcore Drug addict and got fired for 60000 days...During that time He was at home one day smoking some crack and fell asleep which resorted into His house being set on fire and Him swantoning out of His window onto His dog...Killing the dog instantlly...Fat Hardy aka Matthew came to the rescue and put Death into a rehab center straight away! We are currently awaiting news of how the rehab is going
Death's entry to The Rehab Game was brief, as he was atomised by Cookie Jesus, before being re-enlisted to take on the space forces of YOOOUMANGA and the Declining Ratings Forces.
FEUDING WITH EDGE AND RANDY ORTON
On the Smarch 125th edition of WWE Saturday Night BBQ, Death Hardy overheard Edge telling Randy Orton that his hair looks like a fanny. Later that night, there was a TLC (totally lost cat) match between Edge and Randy Orton and Fat and Death Hardy. Randy won the match by saving the lost cat from extinction. The following week, Death defeated Edge in another TLC match. Death later stated: "the experience has been good for me. My new finisher is Fanny Rash, a sort of headbutt."
FEUDING WITH SATAN
The Hardys latest rivalry began when Death lost a table match to Triple H. In an accident, everything that happened was REAL, not fake, and Death... died. Death sold his soul to be brought back to life. Satan began using Deaths soul as a bouncy-bounce ball, which upset the Hardys. Later backstage, Fat attacked Satan, and Death gave Satan a fanny rash.

to quote the manager of DUnder Milflin, "I love Wikipedia, because so many people can edit it, so you always know your getting the right information"

These are not from wikiepedia though, but some mickey take called uncyclopedia.

We ... Are ... Snooker

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A38932400

GazMan1888™* - Prisoner No. (U10635972)

Is he on niceboard or is he on here. Although he did credit to MaFish

deleted my name out of it

Damn, thought I'd be keeping my name well away from 606. Who's gazMan, you in for a spankin' boyo!

Shit! My first article on 606 and it's been removed!

Shocker !

They remove anything funny the pricks lol

They remove stuff that has links on 606 these days.

I haven't posted on any of the BBC boards for months now but I still get emails saying i've had a post removed.